Just love: No "I told you so" in Unplanned story

Planned Parenthood clinic director Abby Johnson arrived in tears to the 40 Days for Life office and said her eyes were suddenly opened to understand abortion as wrong. She sat in front of three people she knew for eight years as not approving of her job. And, even though I read the book, I waited with the onscreen Abby to wonder what their response was going to be.

Was it going to be, “I told you so”? Was it going to be, “Now you know how wrong you were”? Was it going to be, “Duh, why didn’t you see it sooner?”

No. None of that.

There was no “In-your-face/I-told-you-so” in that moment. There was no victory dance. There was no condemnation. There was no judgement at all. There was only love.

The story of 40 Days for Life Founders Shawn and Marilisa Carney is not featured as prominently in the movie Unplanned. But their story is remarkable. In a world of Prodigals who knowingly and unknowingly go against God’s law and Older Brothers who scream that sinners (not them) are going to Hell, the Carneys displayed the love of the Father, who patiently and compassionately wants all of His children to come home.

The Father understands that sin destroys and wants the truth for all of His wayward children - whether they are actively sinning, passively letting others sin, or sitting in unrighteous judgement of others' sin. He befriends and loves and waits with compassion. He says both, “Sin no more” and “I love you.”

I was so struck by how Marilisa compassionately agreed with Abby that it didn’t help for people to dress up like the grim reaper or to yell condemnations at those with whom they didn’t agree. Her interactions with Abby were always cordial, and were often not about their disagreement at all. Marilisa congratulated her for her promotion, encouraged her, and expressed excitement for her pregnancy. She didn’t hate the person she tried to convert. She loved her.

Shawn’s immediate reaction to Abby’s “rough day” was, “We love you, and we are going to help you.” He was sensitive to her needs. He was a friend. And he didn’t start being a friend after she converted. He acted as a friend long before.

Their example serves as a model for Christians in abortion discussions, but also in every case where Christianity stands against the ever-mounting problems of the culture. We can’t wait for the person to convert to our satisfaction before we love them. Even God doesn’t do that.

Our job is certainly to state the position in which we stand. But the thing that converted Abby Johnson was love. It was love to say friendly things through the fence. It was love to pray for her. It was love to not say, “I told you so,” when she finally saw the truth.

Unplanned was a very good movie. I enjoyed the acting, the writing and the music. There were parts that were very hard to see, and I just want to give the Johnsons some big hugs.

But the biggest thing I came away with from Unplanned is that our Christian call to love is the thing that converts. It will win the day over abortion. And it will win in every other fight as well. May the Lord help us to love as the Father loves, so all of His precious children come home.

Luke 15:22-24 …his father ordered his servants, ‘Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.’