Goodness That Can Never Be Lost

I was in prayer yesterday and had an encounter with the Lord in the responsorial psalm: “Teach me, LORD, your way that I may walk in your truth (Ps 86:11).”

I ache to stand in truth as the person God made me to be. I don’t want to stand in how my wounds wound define me. I don’t want to stand in how my sins would define me.  I don’t want to stand in how others would define me. I don’t want to stand in how I would define myself.

No, I didn’t create myself. Someone else did. And He had a plan when He did it. What was His plan?

I have been praying and fasting this year with that question in mind, hoping to stand in my identity. I want to grow in “age, wisdom and favor before God and man (Luke 2:52)” and not be stunted. My question and fast took a break for a time last week as my family was sick, but the Lord did not take a break. He met me in a series of prayer experiences yesterday, one of which I will share here.

I wanted to pray to the Father and there I was at His throne. I don’t have visions. I just knew I was there. He’s really big, but He is so much love! I was at His knee and He said I was His daughter. I felt His radiant joy. He was so happy to see me and very happy with me. But it wasn’t the kind of happiness that says, “Well done, good and faithful servant” - although I surely hope He will say that to me at the end of my life. His happiness was not a judgement of my performance in any way.

He said He delighted in me. He was pleased with me. But His pleasure was concerning Himself and the good job that He did. Does that sound funny? As I’m writing it, it sounds funny.

When you build something, you stand back and you’re proud. You paint something, and you stand back and you are proud. You make the most amazing dinner and you take a picture and you post it on Facebook because you are proud.

God the Father looked at me, this thing that He made, and He was proud. He did a good job.

Now, I could never tell the Father He didn’t do a good job at something. It says right there in Genesis that He made everything, stood back and declared it good. But it was surprising for me to feel my overwhelming goodness in comparison to how many times I declared myself horrible. And it flew in the face of how many painful times others have told me I was horrible. I am good. And there is no arguing that with the One who made me.

I wasn’t good because of what I did. My identity is good because of the One who imagined me and executed the project. He told me He delighted in me.

And it gave me a different perspective of my worth. I can’t lose my goodness because I didn’t earn it. I can’t gain this goodness either. I am good because of who made me.

Love and goodness are very performance-based in the world. And I have so many wounds feeling like I have to earn these. But God doesn’t operate that way. The truth of my identity is that I am good and God is deeply satisfied in how He made me.

My prayer today is for you to encounter the Father who made you well and that you hear of your deep goodness that can never be lost. I pray for the healing of wounds where you felt you had to earn love or where you were rejected for not performing as others wanted. I pray for you to stand in the identity God gave you.